Is it time for you to go already?
It feels like we were just getting to know each other.
Truth be told, I’m pretty fond of you. I hadn’t really told you or anyone else for that matter. But it’s true, since I’ve been with you, a lot of good things happened. We took small steps together, you and I. But big results almost always start with small steps. And I think some big stuff was there too, but you never really notice it until it’s in the rearview. While I was with you I really learned more about myself. I settled in being a better me. I didn’t try to be the me I knew when I was with others. I didn’t talk so much about trusting in God being in control. I just did it. I experienced the kind of growth that will help me so much in the future. I had fun with good friends and tried things I hadn’t done before. I went swing dancing. I had to reread that with a smile. And I wasn’t even the worst guy in the room. Most of all, with you I saw a glimpse of the direction I need to be heading. For that, I will always be grateful.
I guess I can’t let you leave without saying that everything with you was rainbows and sunshine. There were some rough times. I learned some things that left me feeling pretty sad. I felt disappointment with some of my own actions. I had probably my sickest day that I’ve ever had. My car has given me some trouble. So, it’s not like every day with you was amazing.
But even with all of that considered, the bad can’t take away from what you and I had. The one before you was where I saw myself being broken down, pieces being torn away. I had just been shell shocked. And the waves of pain and realization afterwards made me aware of the change taking place. I wouldn’t have ever wished it, but I needed to be torn down. I was full of a love for myself and my own ways. I was unteachable. And then I was destroyed. But while with you, I’ve been rebuilt. And it wasn’t by you. So I now don’t find my worth in how others view me or how I view myself. I will seek my value in how God loves me.
I guess that makes this parting easier than it would otherwise be. You were good to me. But there are better days to come. So today, our 365th together, will be our last. Tomorrow I start off a new relationship with 2015.
I think it’s gonna be a good year.