I haven’t been very good about writing here lately. I’ve taken turns seeing if there any words within me worth putting down, deciding I wasn’t good enough to write them well, and fighting with myself on what my voice even was. Who am I to be read or listened to? Where do I have authority and how should I use my words? I haven’t been consistently seeking God recently. I have been pretty good about asking others around me about their walk. Maybe I feel a little more spiritual that way as I don’t really inquire where it is God is leading me to. I haven’t been vocal about this, it’s a little easier to put down here.
I prayed yesterday about hoping to live each day with a Godly purpose. And it was something I meant. But way too often lately I have quickly made my own decision on where it is I should be heading instead of really leaning into what God desires from me in the current situation. Don’t get me wrong, I earnestly ask for His will. But I too often have been going with the path that felt right. And I really don’t want to be so emotionally led. Who I’m writing to right now, I’m not even sure. Maybe throwing these words down in a place that I visit often will give me a reminder. A reminder to live with patience. To not seek my own will in things. To love others in a way that doesn’t require anything back.